The MegaChallenge 200 Has Moved...

It's here now.

Come visit. :)

Thanks!
Gina ;~}

Unifying the Challenge

Hey folks:

Writing posts on The MegaChallenge 200 got me through some of the largest and most intense transitions of my life. I lost some serious weight back in 2005 while returning to grad school, ending my first marriage, and homeschooling my kids. Over the next 6 years, I rediscovered my happiness and my purpose.

Part of being happy and on purpose is feeling like your life is somewhat in the flow, but my online life has become a disjointed collection of idea silos. I have disability-related sites, art-related sites, my inclusion blog, my all-things-gratitude blog, and this long-time friend, too.

I’m in the initial week of building my first-ever, authentically-me, including-my-really-real name website. The catchy blog titles and URLs -- like Happy and Included -- that I’ve created previously seemed too specific and narrow when I wanted to talk about something new — do I really want to create a whole new site every time I see something shiny? So I decided that I wanted a site with my name on it. If it’s an online extension of Gina, let’s just call it that.

Once I got past the “It’s conceited to name a site after yourself.” hang up, I began thinking about what I wanted my site to reflect — about me, about my life, about my professional strengths, about the stuff you can’t pay me enough to do, about my passions, and about the stuff that just irritates the fire out of me.

So, in a nod to a more holistic approach to my online presence, I'm moving The MegaChallenge 200 to www.ginalynette.com. I'm just about to blog about Workout 3/200. I hope you'll come on over and check it out.

With abundant gratitude,

Gina ;~}

And This Is Where We Begin... Again...

Workout 1 on the new elliptical trainer is on the books.

36:41 minutes -- 4092 strides -- 301.1 calories

I do love me some numbers.

But even more than that, I love me some progress. So it feels kind of strange to be starting back at 1 almost exactly 6 years after this MegaChallenge got started. But... here I am.

The good news is that I'm not doing a complete rewind. I haven't regained all of the weight I lost 6 years ago (and kept off successfully for another 4 years). I'm starting out about 10 - 15 pounds lighter than last time. I'm also starting out much wiser and -- um -- 6 years older. This means I know what works for me and what doesn't and what needs to change to get my body into decent shape -- even if my 40 year old self knows that it isn't ever going to be 20 again.

I also know that the scale and my jean size don't measure my progress. My stamina and ability to say yes to the things I want to do are what actually matter.

Being happy. Feeling good.

Those are my ROI categories as I restart this quest to exercise on a regular basis.

So, why the home version of the elliptical trainer -- besides the fact that walking and dieting aren't what keeps my butt fitting in my wardrobe? Because it means:

• I don't have to wait 20 minutes for a turn on the gym version
• No one will tell me that I only get 30 minutes to do my 70-minute workout. 
• I get to sing out loud. (I love singing while I work out!)
• I get to be in my home -- which I love, love, love.
• It eliminates the drive to the gym and back.
• My kids get to do what they actually want to do while I work out rather than my being called 14 times to deal with an issue in the childcare area (only to re-start my wait for a machine.)
• I get to sing out loud. (I love cranking up the stereo and singing!)
• I get to enjoy my runs to nowhere without being forced to watch shows that gross me out on screens all over the room.
• My own private shower -- complete with my soaps, scrubs, shampoos, and soft towels -- is only steps away.
• I get to sing out loud. (I may even take up singing in the shower, too!)

Ahhhh. Happy and feeling good.

Bringing it Home...

Believe it or not, it has been months since I last ran to nowhere.

My life is a scrambled egg of kids and work and homeschooling and grad schooling and partnership with my hubby and, well, somehow the gym doesn't get on my schedule much. At all. Ever. Unless, of course, it is to take some complement of this crew to the pool.

I don't get on the machines.

Ever.

Ever.

Instead, I'm walking our 80-pound collie twice a day and eating pretty well and sleeping pretty well and managing to creep back up the scale. Because, as we learned in my initial post on ye ole blog, unless I'm doing something incredibly sweat-inducing, my metabolism will not budge.

Ever.


I've had an elliptical trainer on my wishlist since about the time I last bought a swimsuit. It's really the only reason (besides access to the pool) that I pay for a membership to the gym. Yes, I've done the math over the past 10 (15) years of working out at the gym and know I could have bought 4 elliptical machines with those membership fees. But I've watched folks turn treadmills into clothing racks and didn't want to end up doing the same thing.

Ever.

Ever.


It's time. So, I scoured the ads and picked what I wanted and called up a guy who will have to figure out what to do with his clothes now that I'm adopting his elliptical-trainer-cum-clothing-rack for my own home gym.

The machine arrives this weekend. Hopefully it marks the rekindling of my long-term-love affair with running to nowhere... and perhaps even -- I know! -- blogging.

A Blast from the Past...

Several years ago (approximately three posts in Gina's Blog Time) I mentioned that I had reconnected with my paternal clan after a couple of decades without contact. It was kind of a strange feeling that. I've known and been connected to these folks my entire life and knew a little more than nothing about them.

Remember those reunion episodes that every talk show hosted about once a month through the 80s and 90s? Well, I watched those with special interest because my magical thinking brain kept telling me, "Someday you may have to break down and call Donahue/Jerry/Oprah to get your family back. You need to know how this works."

Well, I didn't have to invite the entire planet to my family reunion, but that doesn't mean that the magical thinking stopped there. What you typically saw on those shows was a tearful reunion with lots of hugging and crying and some sense that everyone would leave the set and be the Brady Bunch and live Happily Ever After. The End.

Um. I hate to break it to you, but it doesn't seem to work that way. And, as much as I love to read, I haven't found a manual that explains how it is supposed to work. What I have found is that regardless of your best intentions and your desire to find common ground, this whole rebuilding-a-family-from-scratch thing is hard work.

As part of that process, I sent one of my sisters a link to this blog. I thought it might give her some insight into the person I am, what I care about, and how I got to this point in my life. It was pretty terrifying to open up in this way. Yes, this is a public blog, but there seems to be a difference between writing for strangers and having someone you actually (sort of) know and (truly) love reading your rants about strangers hogging the gym machines.

So, after I sent the link, I came back and read through my posts... if only to know what I'd just newly shared with my sister.

And then I got kind of nostalgic about this space.

As I've posted before, I haven't deleted this blog for several reasons -- most of them based in my desire to have a record of the weight-loss-turned-life-change process I detailed here. But I still feel the pull to chronicle the shifts in my life in a more expansive way than my daily facebook status updates.

Hmmmmmm.

And then I think, do I want to be open in this way, again... still?

When did I become so afraid?

Why am I hesitating?

There is resistance here and desire, too, and that tension has me thinking that I need to spend some time thinking about . . .

Whoa!

And then just like that, it hits me...

I'm turning 40 in a couple of months. This year has been another transition year -- new house, new school, new certifications, new contracts -- but it's also been incredibly redundant.

I'm afraid that I'm still stuck in that same space I was in when I started down this road. Yes, I am still a PollyAnna (and have the badge to prove it). Yes, I believe in balance and dreams and love and hope.

But here recently, there has been a sour voice talking back. "Life is hard." "People don't change." "You're lost."

Where did that come from?

Oh. NO! The balloon poppers are winning!!!

This has to stop.

There is this place tucked way back in the farthest, dustiest corners of my brain where I put the icky stuff. The real reasons I stopped being a part of my paternal clad hide back there along with being teased in the 3rd grade, the taste of black licorice, images of horror films, and everything I ever learned about life insurance. I dealt with -- and healed from -- those events through years of therapy, journaling, ice cream cones, and forgiveness.

As I work to reconnect with my sister, there is some sense that I'm supposed to explain all of this. Why I believe what I believe. How I got to be this person. What I was thinking over that 21 year absence.

And I don't want to.

Not because I have anything to hide but because I'm tired of retreading that ground. I want to be here. Now. In this moment. Not rehashing 40 years of decisions, events, and transitions.

When you share pieces of your life history with someone who wasn't there, it is typically done as a "getting to know you" exercise. It is done in the context of shared interests or some other common connection. So, when someone asks me about my kids in the context of their diagnoses because they have a kid with a diagnosis, there is probably some interest in learning what I've learned so that they can apply those hard lessons in their own life. Or maybe we're just commiserating or even celebrating.

The point is that there is an exchange of finite information that makes sense in the context, and that whether or not this person agrees with my choices, they aren't likely to get under my skin either way. There isn't an urge to justify myself.

I'm learning that it isn't this way with "family" regardless of how long you've been gone. There is some emotional pull there. An expectation. An ability to hurt without intention because it isn't a clean slate regardless of how guileless you are trying to keep the interactions.

I think I've allowed myself to start believing the rumors about me. The mumble cussing about my intentions has gotten loud enough for me to hear but is not blatant enough for me to address directly. So the sour voice has worked it's way into my brain without my awareness. It's time to kick it out.

Here's what I know to be true (to borrow a line from Oprah): I don't play games. I don't do politics. I tell the truth. I avoid peril. I laugh lots. If I say, "I love you," I mean it. If a relationship gets damaged I'll do just about anything to reconcile it. At some point, when I've exhausted every idea I have to make it right, or I feel rejected or unwanted, I'll walk away. I'm learning to balance being open with protecting myself. I used to give my all, but I'm learning to hold some aside for me. I am always surprised when someone is upset with me because I spend about 99% of my energy trying to make others happy. I don't have an agenda. I'm striving to be my authentic self everywhere I go.

It only took me 39 years, 10 months and a couple of days to get here. Thank goodness I'm a quick study, huh?

So, back to pointing forward. I feel another transition year coming...

But aren't they all?

Setting The Big Goals...

After years of seeing the "coincidences" of my life come together to form gorgeous synergies, it should be old hat by now.

It isn't.

A little background first: over the past couple of years, I have managed to gradually add 15 - 20 pounds back to my frame. There are lots of causes... the world's most stressful job, several life-altering emergencies, a happy marriage, and lack of focus on my health as I moved through all of these events.

After months of thinking about it, I managed to get past the precontemplation stage and made it to the gym. ::taking bow:: My hope is to get back into the habit of paying attention to my body... exercising, relaxing, eating what nourishes me.

This stage of thinking and planning over the past several months wasn't simply about my health. It involved gestating several other crossroads initiatives. And the entire time I am working out all of these details, I am feeling a pull to something bigger.

So where's the synergy?

As I sit on my gorgeous sun porch and work on a variety of projects -- all while watching the birds and deer and turkeys wander by -- the realization that I am connected to this beautiful planet through more than my laptop keeps poking at me. But how? What project? Where do I put my energies?

I go to my facebook account to check on my pokes and farms and see an invitation from my high school chum, Joseph Phillips. He's been all giddy for weeks about an project launch of his, and rightfully so.

10 Goals 2010

Joseph's new project is all about the little ways we contribute to the bigger stuff. He has way more information over at 10 Goals 2010 at the Lifelong Project but the gist is this:

Be kind.

Do good work.

Help others.

Make friends.

Encourage.

Give your time.

Give love.

Achieve goals.

Share.

So, Joseph, old pal, I love this idea. I'll spend some time contemplating how these goals get integrated into my daily routine. Perhaps this is the next phase of the MegaChallenge 200. My impulse is to say I'll attempt to integrate each of these goals into my yearly 200-times-gets-me-there mentality. I don't know how that would look yet.

My first goal is to figure that out.

Silence Doesn't Indicate Inertia...

I love this blog. I know it is hard to tell that from the long absences--okay, complete neglect--over the past couple of years, but I do!

When I started the MegaChallenge, I was some 39 (50) pounds overweight, living in a marriage that threatened my life, working on my degree, homeschooling my kids, and in need of a place where I could "talk" without being edited. It was an act of courage--actually several, since it took multiple tries to get logged on to blog spot--that started this blog. When I wrote that very first entry I honestly had no idea whether anyone would read it.

Then something amazing happened. People did read it, but that wasn't the real magic. The real magic was finding other people who were in the same boat. No, not identical boats--just similar ones. There were these other bloggers who were also losing weight, but the pounds weren't actually the point. Life was the point. They were exploring that question that seems to manifest itself from some common place in us all--"Why are we here?"

Of course, the answers varied widely. They had to. How could Allan--an admitted foodie and a food broker from NYC--maintain his sanity as he made his attempt to lose weight while handling the most decadent of foods all day every day? How could Renee drop the pounds while carrying around her self-doubts? How would Trish bounce back from a post-tummy-tuck weight gain while she juggled her responsibilities and the ones she took on for her family? How would Shawna hold up under media scrutiny when her weight-loss blog and book made her famous?

Sure, we were all talking about weight and diet and exercise and scales, but they weren't the only common themes. Other A-Has emerged as we blogged.

Balance -- Maintenance -- Relationships -- Goals --Celebration

Those are the topics of larger conversations. Yeah, I lost weight and worked out and wrote about it on this blog. But I also transformed my life, found balance, improved my relationships, set brand new goals, and celebrated successes of all sorts!

I thought about deleting the MegaChallenge when I co-created Blissification with my long-time, off-line friend, Christine. Blissification is all about what I am up to now: helping folks find their bliss. But I paused on the delete link. Maybe the MegaChallenge still has its purpose. If I am telling someone that they can be happy and all they see is the current Gina--the one who lives on 6 acres in a gorgeous part of the world, with a wonderfully supportive husband, a job she loves, and kids all around, and who is regularly called, "PollyAnna"--will they believe I have any idea what they are going through?

So, the MegaChallenge stays so that if at some point someone wants to know how I got from where I was to where I am, I can point them here.

And, who knows? At some point this 10 extra pounds that I have been carrying around for the past year might become something I want to eliminate. When I get past the precontemplation stage, this is exactly where I want to record that journey.

The Wonders of Walking...

The workout thing keeps not happening. Well, not the kind that occurs indoors on a piece of equipment.

However, upon review of the original MegaChallenge Regulations, I am reminded that it wasn't about working out on a piece of gym equipment--it was about moving. So, in spite of the fact that the stationary bike in the basement is doing a superlative job of the stationary part of its title, I managed to get in a workout. We walked 5 miles (14/200) on a gorgeous trail this morning.

I have to give kudos to municipalities that take the time/money/effort to design and build green spaces into their plans. Our new hometown has gone to incredible lengths to put in all sorts of walking/jogging/bike paths. They run along rivers and through shady areas and near parks and by the library. Truly lovely.

I am not counting the very long stroll we took through an art festival this evening. Yes, it was movement and technically counts. However, I got more of a workout laughing out loud at the amazing hula hooping going on at one of the booths than I did from the walk.

Food? I was stellar. We packed a bag of water and healthy snacks for both excursions. We ate our meals at home. I didn't even glance at the funnel cakes and other fried fair fare.

All in all it was a wonderful day.